Goodbye for Now: A Dear John Letter to Japan

Dear Japan,

By the time you read this, I will be gone.  I’m sorry that I have to leave like this, but the time has come for me to move on.  I know that this transition will be tough, but I know we will both get through it and continue to see happy days in the future.

I leave not out of hate or malice, but because I feel that we have grown apart over these past years and I need to see what else the world has to offer.  Like so many other couples in long term relationships, I think we have gotten ourselves in a rut, and in order to grow as a person, I need to break these bonds of comfort and venture out in search of new things.  Like most things foreign, I know you might not understand this, but I hope that you will put on a polite face, as you always do, and accept that this is just my way.

Before I leave, however, I wanted to thank you for all of the wonderful years that we spent together.  Seven year ago, I never expected to fall in love so deeply, but your polite charm, child-like playfulness, and beauty won me over (not to mention your…ahem…ample mountains and fertile valleys).  While I’m sure you didn’t always know what to make of a guy like me, you found your way to welcome me, and you were always polite and graceful, if not understanding.   You were with me through every season, whether it be the hot, damp summer, the gloriously colorful autumn, the majesty of a snow covered winter, or the unique beauty of the spring.  Through you, I learned to appreciate each of these changes and the natural beauty that they each hold and to enjoy this difference.  You taught me to appreciate the moment and the value of an afternoon spent in the sun with friends and spirits.  You have changed me for the better in a thousand subtle ways that I’m sure I will not realize until well after I am gone.  For all of this, I thank you.

But there are some things you need to work on if you ever want to keep a guy like me.  First, you’re going to have to learn that not everyone is like you and that this is OK.  With your population in decline, you’ll find more and more suitors such as myself approaching your door, and you’ll have to find a way to integrate them into your life.  I know you’ve started this process already by planning to do away with the alien registration process, but you and I both know that your basic attitude still has a long way to go.  You also need to get your head (of state) checked, because over the past few years, I feel like I’m dealing with a new person every few months.  You’re going to need to have a stable personality if you want to make real changes.  And when it comes to the bedroom, you’re just going to have to learn to look at it.  You can’t ask me to do all sorts of crazy things but then be too embarrassed to look at me without some sort of mosaic over me.  Seriously, it’s just weird.

I know you’ll be fine without me, as you have been for so long.  I also know that you may not change, and in some ways, that’s your charm.  You’ve avoided giving in too much to foreign pressure while still adopting the things you like.  It’s what makes you special and I would hate for you to lose that.  I think we just need some time apart to evaluate our relationship.  As always, I wish you the best, and maybe we’ll see each other again in the future.



Posted on by Aaron in Aaron's Blog

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